just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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