I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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