Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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