Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
