Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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