Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
