I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
