She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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