Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she smelled like a LAN party
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
