Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
