its not stalking. its research.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
