How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
