the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
