do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize