Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
