I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
