The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
