worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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