Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
