If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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