i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can text with my tongue
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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