What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
honey bunches of taint.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
