giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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