i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
