Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
