apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
