I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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