You're so nebulous sometimes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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