I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
