Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
