i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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