I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
