I want to have your abortion
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
