How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
