Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
