I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
