oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
