Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize