he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
