i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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