Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
