Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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