My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This baby is an asshole
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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