You work out of a Hotel?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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