We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
