it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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