with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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