marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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