No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
