like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize