I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
