Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
