i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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