So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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