I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
