small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize