Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
