$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Semen is not good for contacts.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
