you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
don't judge my taste in strippers
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize