my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
