party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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