so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
