Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
