he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize