it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
